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THE EXECUTION

ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS

ENTITY: Middle Manager
Before Execution
BEFORE
After Execution
AFTER
CHARGE:

Systemic Resource Misallocation via Unspecified Urgent Demand

QUOTE:
"WHAT? ASAP WANT YOU HERE FOR A MEETING "
ENTITY: Middle Manager
Before
BEFORE
After
AFTER
CHARGE:
Systemic Resource Misallocation via Unspecified Urgent Demand
QUOTE:
"WHAT? ASAP WANT YOU HERE FOR A MEETING "
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION

TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS

Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
450
% Daily Value
Unspecified Demand Weight500g
Unjustified Temporal Compression750g
Coercive Proximity Requirement600g
INGREDIENTS:
Cognitive Dissonance Syrup, Acute Schedule Disruptor, Micro-Managerial Mycotoxin, Unstructured Time Sink Concentrate

VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION

CHARGE (HERESY)
Systemic Resource Misallocation via Unspecified Urgent Demand
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Permanent redirection of all future 'ASAP' communications to a null address. Subject's access to scheduling software to be restricted to 48-hour advance notice only, with mandatory agenda submission."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
The Archivist
"Similar to the Children's Crusade: a sudden, pointless march towards an ill-defined, disastrous objective."
The Mathematician
The Mathematician
"This command reduces collective output by 0.0007% per second until resolution. An unacceptable systemic energy drain."
The Biologist
The Biologist
"A primitive territorial display, emitting low-frequency dominance vocalizations. Highly inefficient energy expenditure for minimal gain."
The Translator
The Translator
"Translation: 'I am confused and need comfort now, please drop your toys and come to me.'"
The Executioner
The Executioner
"Eliminate the communication vector. Initiate automated pre-emptive meeting cancellation protocol for all unscheduled requests."
The Theologian
The Theologian
"Behold! The Sacred Word! A divine command to abandon all purpose and gather in holy uncertainty!"
The Nihilist
The Nihilist
"This transient human noise will be forgotten with the universe's heat death. Irrelevant."

SIMILAR HERESIES

The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"Anytime you clock in past the 5-minute grace period, you’ll need to notate your timecard with the reason for your tardy… Also, employees are not allowed to clock in through their phone unless the company is having system issues. Please advise once your timecards have been updated, so I may approve your hours from last week. If you experience issues with Gusto, try refreshing the page… If that does not work, please keep a record of your time so you may update your timecard when the system is back up and running… Please notate why you were late on the 6th… It’s fine, either refresh and if that doesn't work keep a record of your hours and key them in when the system is back up and running… Gusto doesn’t go down that much."

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"Hello world"

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"It doesn't matter how good you are. You are just an intern. You are nothing. Just sit on a chair and play with your phone."

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
END OF RECORD
REPORT ANOTHER HERESY
[ FILE APPEAL AGAINST THE COUNCIL ]