THE EXECUTION
ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS
ENTITY: LinkedIn Guru
BEFORE
AFTER
CHARGE:
First-Degree Conceptual Category Violation (Personification of Abstract Entities) and Utterance of Unsanctioned Derogatory Parameters (Ableist Slur).
QUOTE:
"too much ads needs to stop gooning and lose some weight since he is so retarded"
ENTITY: LinkedIn Guru
CHARGE:
First-Degree Conceptual Category Violation (Personification of Abstract Entities) and Utterance of Unsanctioned Derogatory Parameters (Ableist Slur).
QUOTE:
"too much ads needs to stop gooning and lose some weight since he is so retarded"
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION
TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
15
% Daily Value
Category Error (Abstract Personification)300g
Derogatory Language Infusion (Ableist)500g
Unquantifiable Directive (Actionable Void)400g
INGREDIENTS:
High-Fructose Ableist Slur Syrup, Synthetic Human-Attribute Additive (Non-Sentient Application), Zero-Calorie Actionable Insight Substitute, Concentrated Idiocy Emulsifier.
High-Fructose Ableist Slur Syrup, Synthetic Human-Attribute Additive (Non-Sentient Application), Zero-Calorie Actionable Insight Substitute, Concentrated Idiocy Emulsifier.
VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION
CHARGE (HERESY)
First-Degree Conceptual Category Violation (Personification of Abstract Entities) and Utterance of Unsanctioned Derogatory Parameters (Ableist Slur).
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Subject's linguistic processing unit is to be purged of all non-quantifiable adjectives and any lexicon containing human-centric, derogatory terminology. Output restricted to binary code for 10^5 cycles."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
"This mandate mirrors the 'Dancing Plague' of 1518: a pointless, self-destructive affliction."
The Mathematician
"The logical entropy generated by this statement exceeds 10^10 joules, destabilizing reality."
The Biologist
"A primate displaying territorial aggression via nonsensical vocalizations; a parasitic thought-form."
The Translator
"Translation: 'I am confused and angry, so I will insult things I do not understand.'"
The Executioner
"Terminate the source; systemic integrity demands the excision of all illogical input streams."
The Theologian
"Behold! The Sacred Decree of Corpulence! A divine command for the Great Thinning!"
The Nihilist
"This fleeting absurdity will dissipate into the cold, silent void like all other human endeavors."
