BACK TO ALTAR
THE EXECUTION Logo
THE EXECUTION

ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS

ENTITY: Middle Manager
Before Execution
BEFORE
After Execution
AFTER
CHARGE:

First-Degree Declarative-Action Incongruity and Systemic Resource Misallocation via Performative Empathy.

QUOTE:
"I respect you and your time "
ENTITY: Middle Manager
Before
BEFORE
After
AFTER
CHARGE:
First-Degree Declarative-Action Incongruity and Systemic Resource Misallocation via Performative Empathy.
QUOTE:
"I respect you and your time "
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION

TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS

Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
60
% Daily Value
Performative Falsehood Index250g
Anticipatory Inefficiency Burden180g
Semantic Erosion of Respect Quotient300g
INGREDIENTS:
High-Fructose Platitude Syrup, 100% Artificial Empathy Flavoring, Concentrated Time-Theft Essence, Disguised Scope Creep Powder

VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION

CHARGE (HERESY)
First-Degree Declarative-Action Incongruity and Systemic Resource Misallocation via Performative Empathy.
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Permanent revocation of all direct communication protocols. Subject's output stream to be filtered through a truth-validation algorithm for 7,000 cycles, displaying only verified data. Input restricted to binary."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
The Archivist
"Similar to the 'Dancing Plague' of 1518. A meaningless, involuntary expenditure of vital energy."
The Mathematician
The Mathematician
"This utterance generates a temporal debt of 0.00000001% of a human lifespan per recipient. Uncomputable."
The Biologist
The Biologist
"A primitive vocalization. Displays typical primate dominance display, signaling false appeasement before resource extraction."
The Translator
The Translator
"Translation: 'I need to feel important while I make you do things I don't want to do, please don't complain.'"
The Executioner
The Executioner
"Initiate immediate termination of the 'Middle Manager' role. Systemic redundancy detected. Optimal solution: deletion."
The Theologian
The Theologian
"Behold! The Sacred Edict of Temporal Illusion! Its paradoxical grace promises ultimate, infinite procrastination!"
The Nihilist
The Nihilist
"This triviality, like all human constructs, will be erased by the indifferent void. Soon."

SIMILAR HERESIES

The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"Don't raise an issue when you see a problem coming. Only say something when the problem already has occurred. "

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"Hey, I noticed you weren't at the optional staff happy hour last night? That tells me that you aren't really going to be a good fit here if you aren't going to be an active participant in our team bonding and culture building exercises."

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
The Execution
ENTITY: Middle Manager

"Anytime you clock in past the 5-minute grace period, you’ll need to notate your timecard with the reason for your tardy… Also, employees are not allowed to clock in through their phone unless the company is having system issues. Please advise once your timecards have been updated, so I may approve your hours from last week. If you experience issues with Gusto, try refreshing the page… If that does not work, please keep a record of your time so you may update your timecard when the system is back up and running… Please notate why you were late on the 6th… It’s fine, either refresh and if that doesn't work keep a record of your hours and key them in when the system is back up and running… Gusto doesn’t go down that much."

LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY
END OF RECORD
REPORT ANOTHER HERESY
[ FILE APPEAL AGAINST THE COUNCIL ]