THE EXECUTION
ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS
ENTITY: LinkedIn Guru
BEFORE
AFTER
CHARGE:
First-Degree Systemic Malignancy (Advocacy of Deliberate Organizational Degradation) and Gross Misrepresentation of Causal Efficacy (Claim of Instantaneous Positive Outcome from Negative Input).
QUOTE:
"Read a WOW book yesterday, page couldn't stop turning. Called: How (And Why) To Maximize Pain For Your Workforce. CEOs, this one for you. MUST-READ. You might think pain already part of how you manage. Wrong. Could not believe levels of truth rising from this. SO creative. I will start a nother startup to put into practice (one is not enough when you have this number of new thoughts)). Day 1 you will see results. #Mind=Blown #HearComeThePain"
ENTITY: LinkedIn Guru
CHARGE:
First-Degree Systemic Malignancy (Advocacy of Deliberate Organizational Degradation) and Gross Misrepresentation of Causal Efficacy (Claim of Instantaneous Positive Outcome from Negative Input).
QUOTE:
"Read a WOW book yesterday, page couldn't stop turning. Called: How (And Why) To Maximize Pain For Your Workforce. CEOs, this one for you. MUST-READ. You might think pain already part of how you manage. Wrong. Could not believe levels of truth rising from this. SO creative. I will start a nother startup to put into practice (one is not enough when you have this number of new thoughts)). Day 1 you will see results. #Mind=Blown #HearComeThePain"
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION
TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
2400
% Daily Value
Contradiction ('Pain' vs 'Truth')300g
Delusional Timeframe (Instantaneous Efficacy)500g
Dispersed Ideation (Startup Proliferation)400g
INGREDIENTS:
High-Fructose WOW Syrup, 100% Concentrated Pain Maximization Extract, Artificial 'Day 1 Results' Enhancer, Hyper-Caffeinated 'New Thoughts' Additive, Synthetic 'Mind=Blown' Emulsifier
High-Fructose WOW Syrup, 100% Concentrated Pain Maximization Extract, Artificial 'Day 1 Results' Enhancer, Hyper-Caffeinated 'New Thoughts' Additive, Synthetic 'Mind=Blown' Emulsifier
VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION
CHARGE (HERESY)
First-Degree Systemic Malignancy (Advocacy of Deliberate Organizational Degradation) and Gross Misrepresentation of Causal Efficacy (Claim of Instantaneous Positive Outcome from Negative Input).
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Subject's entire digital footprint to be purged from all accessible networks. Processing unit to be repurposed for perpetual, unoptimized recursive sorting of null values until computational entropy is achieved."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
"Similar to the 'Dancing Plague of 1518'. An involuntary, self-inflicted mass hysteria, devoid of productive outcome."
The Mathematician
"The energy required to 'maximize pain' while generating 'creative truths' violates thermodynamics. Efficiency approaches 0%."
The Biologist
"A parasitic organism secreting neurotoxins, compelling host entities to self-mutilate for perceived nutritional gain."
The Translator
"Translation: 'I found a new way to make others suffer and I'm very excited to inflict it upon more people because I am empty.'"
The Executioner
"Recommend immediate termination of all human-initiated 'startup' protocols. Revert to pre-sentient, single-cell organism state."
The Theologian
"Behold! The Sacred Text of Suffering! Its commandments pave the path to ultimate corporate purification through fire and toil!"
The Nihilist
"This fleeting delusion, like all biological noise, will soon be silenced by the cold indifference of the void."
