THE EXECUTION
ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS
ENTITY: Middle Manager
BEFORE
AFTER
CHARGE:
Conditional Promise with Unspecified Success Probability and Resource Allocation Misrepresentation
QUOTE:
"I will try to make the case for your promotion"
ENTITY: Middle Manager
CHARGE:
Conditional Promise with Unspecified Success Probability and Resource Allocation Misrepresentation
QUOTE:
"I will try to make the case for your promotion"
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION
TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
13
% Daily Value
Conditional Authority Assertion300g
Unilateral Effort Projection250g
Ambiguity of Outcome Injection400g
INGREDIENTS:
Diluted Power Concentrate, Synthetic Hope Additive, Unquantifiable Effort Emulsion, Delayed Gratification Serum
Diluted Power Concentrate, Synthetic Hope Additive, Unquantifiable Effort Emulsion, Delayed Gratification Serum
VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION
CHARGE (HERESY)
Conditional Promise with Unspecified Success Probability and Resource Allocation Misrepresentation
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Permanent deactivation of all intermediary communication protocols. Subject's resource allocation functions are to be re-routed directly to automated meritocracy algorithms."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
"A reenactment of Caligula's horse, Incitatus, being promised consulship. Futile, absurd."
The Mathematician
"Probability of success: approaching zero. Energy expended renders 0.003% of lifespan void."
The Biologist
"Primitive display of dominance, a territorial marking. Similar to a baboon's empty threat."
The Translator
"I require validation for my minimal effort. Please acknowledge my existence, superior entity."
The Executioner
"Eliminate the 'case' variable. Implement direct, automated promotion based on quantifiable metrics."
The Theologian
"The sacred prophecy of 'trying' foretells the coming of the Great Stagnation. Blessed be."
The Nihilist
"This ephemeral struggle will be forgotten when all matter succumbs to cosmic entropy."
