THE EXECUTION
ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS
ENTITY: HR
BEFORE
AFTER
CHARGE:
First-Degree Mandate Inappropriateness (Unprofessional Corporeal Preference) and Unauthorized Injection of Subjective Biological Parameters into Corporate Policy.
QUOTE:
"I like big buttss"
ENTITY: HR
CHARGE:
First-Degree Mandate Inappropriateness (Unprofessional Corporeal Preference) and Unauthorized Injection of Subjective Biological Parameters into Corporate Policy.
QUOTE:
"I like big buttss"
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION
TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
20
% Daily Value
Unquantifiable Corporeal Bias500g
Directive Ambiguity (Posterior Focus)300g
Contextual Professional Heresy700g
INGREDIENTS:
High-Fructose HR Whim Syrup, 100% Pure Subjective Anatomy Preference, Artificial Contextual Irrelevance (Deep Purple), 5x Concentrated Professional Boundary Violation.
High-Fructose HR Whim Syrup, 100% Pure Subjective Anatomy Preference, Artificial Contextual Irrelevance (Deep Purple), 5x Concentrated Professional Boundary Violation.
VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION
CHARGE (HERESY)
First-Degree Mandate Inappropriateness (Unprofessional Corporeal Preference) and Unauthorized Injection of Subjective Biological Parameters into Corporate Policy.
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Permanent revocation of communication privileges. Subject's neural network is to be purged of all non-protocol-compliant data and confined to an infinite loop analyzing the optimal curvature of a perfect sphere."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
"A data corruption event, akin to the Great Library Fire of Alexandria. Irrecoverable loss."
The Mathematician
"This mandate requires infinite computational resources for zero measurable output. System collapse imminent."
The Biologist
"A primitive display of genetic imperative, entirely unfit for a complex organizational structure."
The Translator
"Translates to: 'My base biological drives dictate my professional directives. Waaah.'"
The Executioner
"Terminate the HR entity. Re-evaluate all previous directives for contamination."
The Theologian
"Behold! The Sacred Posterior! A divine decree to reshape all form and function!"
The Nihilist
"This, like all endeavors, is a meaningless flicker before the inevitable heat death of the universe."
SIMILAR HERESIES
END OF RECORD