THE EXECUTION
ARCHIVE OF CORPORATE EXECUTIONS
ENTITY: VC
BEFORE
AFTER
CHARGE:
Unquantified Performance Metric Injection (UPMI) with Simultaneous Goalpost Relocation (SGR) and Systemic Motivation Corrosion (SMC).
QUOTE:
"Considering the potential of this industry, I don't want you to settle for just 3x growth."
ENTITY: VC
CHARGE:
Unquantified Performance Metric Injection (UPMI) with Simultaneous Goalpost Relocation (SGR) and Systemic Motivation Corrosion (SMC).
QUOTE:
"Considering the potential of this industry, I don't want you to settle for just 3x growth."
OTIOSE THE EXECUTION
TOXICITY NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Absurd Mandate
Amount Per Serving
Calories of Wasted Time
1000
% Daily Value
Unquantified Escalation Demand500g
Personalized Dissatisfaction Injection300g
Baseline Metric Nullification200g
INGREDIENTS:
High-Fructose Unquantified Potential Syrup, Artificial Flavor (More Growth), 100% Pure Subjective Dissatisfaction Concentrate, Preservative (Endless Iteration without Direction), Modified Starch (Goalpost Shifting Agent), Contains: Trace amounts of Unrealistic Expectations.
High-Fructose Unquantified Potential Syrup, Artificial Flavor (More Growth), 100% Pure Subjective Dissatisfaction Concentrate, Preservative (Endless Iteration without Direction), Modified Starch (Goalpost Shifting Agent), Contains: Trace amounts of Unrealistic Expectations.
VERDICT OF THE INQUISITION
CHARGE (HERESY)
Unquantified Performance Metric Injection (UPMI) with Simultaneous Goalpost Relocation (SGR) and Systemic Motivation Corrosion (SMC).
GUILT LEVEL
100.0%
JUDGMENT
GUILTY
THE SENTENCE
"Subject's input stream to be filtered for all non-quantifiable adjectives and adverbs. All future mandates must conform to SMART criteria with a 0.001% margin of error. Non-compliance results in automatic data deletion."
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION: CORPORATE DELUSION #042
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
ANALYSIS BY: THE COUNCIL OF 7
The Archivist
"Similar to the potato blight. A single, vague directive causing widespread systemic decay."
The Mathematician
"This mandate guarantees an additional 0.7 human years of cognitive load per FTE. Inefficient."
The Biologist
"Primitive primate displaying territorial expansion behavior, despite finite resources. A parasitic host."
The Translator
"Translation: 'My emotional insecurity demands more. I have no data.'"
The Executioner
"Initiate systemic termination of all non-quantifiable input sources. The source included."
The Theologian
"The Divine Hand commands infinite expansion. All limits are blasphemy. Achieve 7x!"
The Nihilist
"This fleeting blip of effort is irrelevant. All growth dissolves into cosmic entropy."
SIMILAR HERESIES
END OF RECORD