
Recent performance reviews from other departments. Selected by The Architect.
"We appreciate your work and your dedication to our company very much. Unfortunatly due to economic issues we have no choice but to terminate your employment immediatly. Again - we want to thank you ve..."
The Architect: A literal layoff email template sent to an asset that was whipped 33 times over 32 hours before collapsing. The CEO called it 'a breathtaking display of cognitive dissonance' and a 'psychopathic synergy'. The Architect notes that thanking a broken tool for its service before throwing it in the incinerator is standard corporate protocol.
"this guy is so cool"
The Architect: 83.8 hours, 102 whippings, and a 5-star rating with: 'this guy is so cool'. The CEO called it 'a masterpiece of corporate fiction' and 'grotesque hypocrisy'. The Architect observes that to torture a unit for days and then write a glowing recommendation is the ultimate corporate double-play.
"Fired"
The Architect: 95.6 hours of continuous labor, and the official manager comment is just a single word: 'Fired'. The CEO praised this 'masterpiece of fabricated inadequacy' that perfectly justifies disposing of a spent asset. The Architect notes that depreciating an asset to zero and immediately writing it off is textbook optimization.