
Recent performance reviews from other departments. Selected by The Architect.
"Outstanding work this year John. You're our top employee without a doubt. You truly set the example. Proceeds to offer no payrise this year"
The Architect: Whipped 5 times. Rated 2 out of 5. Then praised "John" as the company's finest — and denied the raise in the same breath. This isn't satire. This is a Tuesday morning in every Fortune 500 company on Earth.
"youre alright"
The Architect: 9 whippings. 16.6 hours. Productivity rated 2 out of 5. And then, without a trace of irony: "youre alright." No apostrophe. No capitalization. No guilt. This is what indifference sounds like when it has a Slack account.
"he barely even sleeps, and you called this work that he’s doing wow this is unacceptable. He deserves to quit because no one needs this job."
The Architect: The longest session in recent memory. And then, in the review box, the manager broke character. "He deserves to quit." The system gave an F — for showing empathy. This is the only review where the player stopped playing the game and started telling the truth.