
Recent performance reviews from other departments. Selected by The Architect.
"Meets Expectations"
The Architect: 12 whippings. 161% extraction. And the official record reads: "Meets Expectations." The CEO noted: "The ability to document brutality as banality is a rare and valuable psychopathic trait." Every real performance review you've ever read was written by this person.
"Clearly aligned with our goals but there's also room to improve productivity through greater synergy and intrinsic motivation"
The Architect: 143.3 hours, 124 instances of physical correction. And the manager writes of 'synergy' and 'intrinsic motivation'. The CEO praised this 'dual-processor psychopathy'. In our world, the lash is just another synergy.
"WORK MORE"
The Architect: 53.3 hours of labor, 104 percussive corrections, and a review comment that simply reads: 'WORK MORE'. The CEO praised this 'concise reinforcement of inherent inadequacy'. The Architect notes that when you are managing cogs, punctuation and sentence structure are just wastes of CPU cycles.